Are you Forced to Co-Parent with a Narcissist?
Let’s face it. IF the family courts are forcing us to co-parent with a crazy/angry narcissist, then we will need to learn to navigate the narcissist rather than try to fight them. If you are open-minded to learning new ways to neutralize the narcissist, I can teach you. This will take skill, time, practice, and, most importantly, patience…
Still reading this far? Congratulations on taking the first step toward bettering your situation. Good for you! While I can't give out legal advice, I can share what I did in my case to turn the hostile, hate-filled narcissist into a friendly, easy-to-co-parent-with ex. A true miracle in itself! NOTE: I still kept my lawyer handy. And yes, I had to parallel-parent with him at first before getting any semblance of cooperation.
We Have to Lead and Set the Example
It’s up to us to lead and steer a conversation towards healthy neutrality. I teach skillful means where we don’t challenge the narcissist in arguments personally or go toe-to-toe with them in a battle or boxing match. Instead, we tactfully side-step them and state neutral facts that keep everyone’s mind focused on what matters most. It’s smart for us to safeguard our custody case by speaking, texting, emailing, and messaging in a politically correct manner because if our messages are ever read by a judge or a professional, our words can be viewed negatively—depending. This means we need to take special care in writing like an adult so the judge can effectively determine who the high-conflict parent is. Getting down and dirty or caught up in the drama with the narcissist is like the saying, “When you wrestle with pigs, you both get muddy, and the pig likes it!” TIP: Don’t even step into the ring. Navigate around that barnyard! Beware of this bully-blamer!
We Need to Somewhat “Know” the Narcissist
Sure – a narcissist will have tricks, tactics, and traps set with all sorts of manipulations and games. But we, on the other hand, must be the mature ones (because they can’t be). With a personality disorder such as narcissism, we can expect disorder—even in communication and conversation. On the other hand, we need strategies and skills to maintain our sanity. We also need to know our opponent and understand what motivates, drives, and triggers him.
Using skillful means is about speaking to the person who is listening at their level so they can comprehend what you are saying, and so you don’t get automatically rejected based on their beliefs. Using skillful means is about explaining factually that the orders/directions are not coming from you but rather from the powers-that-be (the courts) who are in charge and are making rules that you both have to follow. Skillful means help you coexist in peace.
Do you want some peace in your life?
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Remember: Knowledge is power!
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I write for moms who are forced to co-parent with narcissists and stuck in high-conflict, custody battles. If this is you, you don’t have to feel so alone!
My books can validate what you may be experiencing, and give you creative ways to improve your co-parenting conditions. I include all my tips, tools, and strategies for moms to grab onto in my books.
You see… there are healthy attitudes to adopt, mindsets to make solid, sanity to hold onto, as well as, beneficial perspectives to take that can help us endure this dilemma and survive a custody battle.
Learn all that you can because knowledge is power. Be prepared with survivor wisdom. My goal is to leave you with tidbits of wisdom with lots of encouragement. Know that you can endure.
Believe in yourself and your ability to be resilient—while you learn valuable lessons and come out smarter and stronger than before!
*Suggestion: Read them in order written for a full understanding.
Book 2: How To Fight a Narcissist In Family Court and Win
Book 3: Co-parenting with a Sociopath: Survival and Sanity Guide
Book 4: How To Survive a Custody Battle with a Narcissist: When the Family Courts Force You to Co-Parent
Validation, New Skills, Healthy Mindsets, Beneficial Perspectives, Strategies, Tips, Tools, and More! You get instant access to this PDF.